NOTAPORNSTAR.COM

I just watched the Dawson Miller interview video that’s been circulating around the adult webmaster community lately. Dawson - real name Justine - gives an interesting point of view & behind the scenes look of how solo girl sites work, and how the decision to become an internet solo girl is made. Of course, her experiences differs from most solo girls in that she essentially screwed over her webmasters by backing out after all the content had been shot - most solo girls don’t do that. So while the journal entries on dawnsonmiller.com are fabricated and there’s no live webcam shows, most girls actually do have a hand in their sites. I’m hoping that any non-industry porn viewers that see this video don’t automatically assume that all solo girls websites are like this - a big part of the appeal of those girls is the interaction and personality they put into their member’s areas.

In regards to what made her change her mind, I think it’s extremely odd that she didn’t realize that popular opinion in Christianity, when it comes to porn, is that it’s evil. I know that I was raised in an extremely strict, sheltered environment, and I was basically taught that porn - and anyone who is involved in it in any fashion - is horrible, evil, and unclean. But then again, I was raised with the same views on sex drilled into my head, so it’s not surprising. You should’ve seen how my mother reacted when she caught me reading Jenna Jameson’s autobiography!

I’d be interested to hear what the “Christian photographer” that originally talked her into it said that originally made her feel comfortable with the whole nude-on-the-internet thing. I’d also be interested to hear why she didn’t think it through more, and what she thought the long-term effects would be. Perhaps she just underestimated how much of the population views porn, and thought that nobody would ever see her website? I think that sometimes, in the whole American porn-is-the-devil moral value that seems to be the norm, people don’t see through the fact that most people preach about how evil porn is to their children, and then turn around and check out titties once the kids are in bed. And if I recall correctly, hypocrisy is also spoken against in the Bible…

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Christianity. I consider myself a Christian, although I don’t belong to any particular sect - I’ve never really been much of a churchgoer, mostly because when I have attended, the preacher/pastor tends to take some Biblical moral and twist it to his own devices. That never sat right with me - that it seemed like most churchgoers were okay with simply accepting what the preacher said as truth, without actually cracking their bibles to see if he was correct or embellishing to suit his own purposes. But perhaps that comes partially from the fact that I became a Christian solely from reading the Bible - I had been researching world religions for fun (anthropology and the like was my thing in high school) and eventually accepted Christianity as my faith of choice. A lot of the “conflicts” that it seems most people have between faith and science and the like have never made sense to me, and I attribute that to my never having had the “Creationism is the only interpretation” view fed to me by a church or book. My interpretation of my faith comes from the Bible, not a secondhand party.

As for how I justify working in porn while still considering myself to be a faithful Christian - it really comes down to this: the Bible states that all sins are equal in the eyes of the Lord. I covet other people’s things, I swear, I have premarital sex… so until I’m ready to change those parts of me (and I don’t know if I ever will, to be honest), how am I going to say that the way I make my money is the one thing that suddenly tips the scales from “Heaven” to “Hell”? That outlook simply doesn’t make sense to me. The only person without sin was Jesus; not me.

That said, I would never become a solo girl or porn star - not out of religious reasons, but because I have the foresight that it seems Dawson didn’t - that such a decision is very public and will follow you for the rest of my life. I’ve often stated that being famous would be my worst nightmare. I like being anonymous; going to the grocery store in my sweats and walking the dog with no makeup and not having to worry that it’ll be plastered all over ONTD or Perez Hilton’s site within an hour. I once went shopping with a comedian who at the time had a show on Comedy Central; even after we parted ways, people were following ME as I met up with different friends. I sort of wanted to smack them all. I can be an extremely private person, and I tend to be introverted with strangers as a rule - so having a bunch of randoms trailing me? Fucking horrific.

Point being, I know myself well enough to know that putting myself out there like that would not be a good decision for me. I’ve had a few people tell me I should become a solo girl or at least a x-rated camgirl, and saying no is the easiest thing in the world for me. I understand that while I and my boyfriend are fine with my career choice, not everyone out there will be okay with it. Quick money and attention are not important enough to me to have to constantly defend my actions to family members who stumbled across me naked (although, of course, you’d probably never hear them defending why they saw the photos in the first place). Even now, as a simple adult webmaster, I pick and choose who I tell carefully. I greatly dislike drama, especially if it involves myself, and anyone who would make a big deal over what I do for a living doesn’t deserve to be close enough to me to know.

That’s enough rambling. If you have no idea what I’m talking about and need to see the interview in question, you can find the video here.